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 8 Ways to Drive a Graphic Designer Mad

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PostSubyek: 8 Ways to Drive a Graphic Designer Mad   Sat May 31, 2008 10:55 am

Ini gua kopipaste dari forum lain, yang didapat dari milis temennya temen gw. Kayanya kena banget nih buat kita2 yang pernah kerja dengan "instansi pemerintah". Sori euy adanya bhs inggris...

*8 Ways to Drive a Graphic Designer Mad*:

*1. Microsoft Office
*When you have to send a graphic designer a document, make sure it's made
with a program from Microsoft Office. PC version if possible. If you have to
send pictures, you'll have more success in driving them mad if, instead of
just sending a jpeg or a raw camera file, you embed the pictures inside a
Microsoft Office document like Word or Powerpoint.
Don't forget to lower the resolution to 72 dpi so that they'll have to
contact you again for a higher quality version. When you send them the
"higher" version, make sure the size is at least 50% smaller. And if you're
using email to send the pictures, forget the attatchment once in a while.

*2. Fonts
*If the graphic designer chooses Helvetica for a font, ask for Arial. If he
chooses Arial, ask for Comic Sans. If he chooses Comic Sans, he's already
half-insane, so your job's half done.

*3. More is Better
*Let's say you want a newsletter designed. Graphic designers will always try
to leave white space everywhere. Large margins, the leading and kerning of
text, etc. They will tell you that they do this because it's easier to read,
and leads to a more clean, professional look. But do not believe those lies.
The reason they do this is to make the document bigger, with more pages, so
that it costs you more at the print shop.

So make sure you ask them to put smaller margins and really, really small
text. Many different fonts are also suggested (bonus if you ask for Comic
Sans, Arial or Sand). Ask for clipart. Ask for many pictures (if you don't
know how to send them, refer to #1). They will try to argument, and defend
their choices but don't worry, in the end the client is always right and
they will bow to your many requests.

*4. Logos
*If you have to send a graphic designer a logo for a particular project,
let's say of a sponsor or partner, be sure to have it really really small
and in a low-res gif or jpeg format. Again, bonus points if you insert it in
a Word document before sending it. Now you might think that would be enough
but if you really want to be successful in lowering the mental stability of
a graphic designer, do your best to send a version of the logo over a hard
to cut-out background. Black or white backgrounds should be avoided, as they
are easy to cut-out with the darken or lighten layer style in photoshop.
Once the graphic designer is done working on that bitmap logo, tell him you
need it to be bigger.

If you need a custom made logo, make your own sketches on a napkin. Or
better yet, make your 9 year old kid draw it. Your sketch shouldn't take
more than 5 minutes to make. You don't want to make something that's
detailed and easy to understand, because the less the designer understands
what you want, the more you can make him change things
afterwards. Never accept the first logo. Never accept the 9th, make him do
many changes, colors, fonts & clip art. Ask him to add a picture in the
logo. Bevels. Gradients. Comic Sans. And when he's at his 10th attempt, tell
him that you like the 2nd one the most. I know, it's mean but remember:
graphic designers are the cause of breast cancer among
middle aged women.

*5. Choosing your words
*When describing what you want in a design, make sure to use terms that
don't really mean anything. Terms like "jazz it up a bit" or "can you make
it more webbish?". "I would like the design to be beautiful" or "I prefer
nice graphics, graphics that, you know, when you look at them you go: Those
are nice graphics." are other options. Don't feel bad about it, you've got
the right. In fact, it's your duty because we all know that on fullmoons,
graphic designers shapeshift into werewolves.

*6. Colours
*The best way for you to pick colors (because you don't want to let the
graphic designer choose) is to write random colors on pieces of paper, put
them in a hat and choose. The graphic designer will suggest to stay with 2-3
main colors at the most, but no. Choose as many as you like, and make sure
to do the hat thing in front of him. While doing it, sing a very annoying

*7. Deadlines
*When it's your turn to approve the design, take your time. There is no
rush. Take two days. Take six. Just as long as when the deadline of the
project approaches, you get back to the designer with more corrections and
changes that he has time to make.

*8. Finish Him/her
*After you've applied this list on your victim, it is part of human nature
(although some would argue weather they're human or not) to get a bit
insecure. As he realises that he just can't satisfy your needs, the graphic
designer will most likely abandon all hopes of winning an argument and will
just do whatever you tell him to do, without question.
You want that in purple? Purple it is. Six different fonts? Sure!

You would think that at this point you have won, but don't forget the goal
of this: he has to quit this business. So be ready for the final blow: When
making final decisions on colors, shapes, fonts, etc, tell him that you are
disappointed by his lack of initiative. Tell him that after all, he is the
designer and that he should be the one to put his expertise and talent at
work, not you. That you were expecting more output and advices about design
from him.

Tell him you've had enough with his lack of creativity and that you would
rather do your own layouts on Publisher instead of paying for his services.
And there you go. You should have graphic designer all tucked into a
straight jacket in no time!
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PostSubyek: Re: 8 Ways to Drive a Graphic Designer Mad   Sat May 31, 2008 12:13 pm

lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol!

very nice....

very very very nice....

welcome to the kingdom of costumer, buddy!
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PostSubyek: Re: 8 Ways to Drive a Graphic Designer Mad   Sun Aug 24, 2008 8:56 pm

om2.... saia orang tasik...
(anak desain) bisa d translit gak bahasanya...
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